The One

Thursday, November 8th

Today was the last day at the clinic on Bethany island, and Gail and I went to help out again. Today was the day that I cried. I cried a lot. All day off and on. It hits you, and you don't stop. I thought I was going to break down a few times over the past days, but it comes at you when you least expect it.

It was 9am. We had been travelling in the morning to get there by boat. I was sitting on a wooden bench, waiting for the people to come down the hill. I looked up at the hill to see a little girl, walking towards the clinic. She sat alone on a bench, then I called her over to sit with me to wait for the doctor. I asked her her name. Aoko she said. Then she said, I have no parents, do you? I told her I did. She held onto my hand and we talked quietly together. She was very shy, and spoke softly, but held on to me tightly. She was lonely, and sad, and sick. She lives at the orphange. A few minutes later she got down on her knees and said that she was very happy to feel loved. That was it.The flood gates were open, and so was my heart. There is a feeling you get when you just want do whatever is in your power to take care of them, to not leave them there.But you have to. So I told her I would stay with her all day if she wanted. We had our arms wrapped around each other all morning.

Aoko's caregiver at the orphanage came over to speak with me. He told me she needed special treatment. She was very sick and needed to be tested for HIV, as that is how her parents died. He asked me to be sure that Dr. Martin oversaw her treatment and did the bloodwork. I was saddened, but not surprised. I spoke with the doctor. her blood was to be taken late in the day before we got the boat back to Ggaba, or the blood would clot. So I took her back to school until then.

School, we are so lucky in Canada. Their school is a barn like looking building with wooden bencehes, but to them, it is an honor. Not many can go to school, sponsorship is key.

After helping in the clinic, it was time for Aoko to see the doctor. I went and got her from school. I took her for her tests and spent time talking with her. I fell in love so fast. I do not have children of my own, but feel like a mother this day.

It was time to get back to Ggaba. There is so much work to do.I had to also say goodbye. I will not be back to the island until I return to Uganda. She wanted to come with me, and I had to let go of her. I was crushed by the look on her face, but had to let go. It was one of the hardest moments I have ever had.

I was walking up the hill with my team, and one of the doctors assistants asked me a question that shaped my day. He said " Why this little girl, there are so many, and many you cared for, and many to love, why this one?" My answer was simple...
I just knew!

I find out her HIV test results tomorrow.